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I miss playing with people. I miss my games. I miss the CR I started and had to abandon. At the moment I just can't seem to drum up any interest from most of the people in my current game, and those that do tag seem so wary or inflexible and I'm so sick of trying to fit in and ingratiate myself. I envision another RP hiatus in my future pretty soon.
I wish I knew that magic formula that would let people trust me, and help me find the sort of players who actually want to plot and do interesting things. So many of the games I've tried to join just seem to want happy quirky tiems with their characters and most of the time I pick characters that just sort of... no. They're too intense, they want to hurt others, they don't socialize, they are rude. I even tried picking up a character once who wasn't quite as abrasive (though she was still a social retard, let's be honest) and I just got so bored trying to make nice. I want action and drama and life-altering shit, y'know? I can't do picnics and sex and parties on a regular basis. Like the Master, I kinda need meat.
It's gotten to the point that I really don't know what to do. I don't want to make a miserable time for anyone or make them get immediately on the defense, and I really hoped that this time around at least getting permissions out of the way right off the bat would help but I don't know. In my mind's eye I can see that fail comin' round the mountain when she comes and I just know it's only a matter of time before things go awry. As it is I already feel like my feeble attempts at CR have mostly gone nowhere, though I haven't even given the game a week. It's like I'm primed for failure now. I can't even muster up any optimism, and all I can do is try and know it's not enough.
I tried doing private rp, and it wasn't BAD but... I love panfandom. It's the way I was introduced to RP and I really ENJOY multicharacter plots and arcs, even if they inevitably seem to succumb to user error. Whether it be hiatus or miscommunication or some other dropping the ball.
But man, it's just really tough to feel like trouble already in your first week. And I do.
Maybe it was too soon to do this.
I wish I knew that magic formula that would let people trust me, and help me find the sort of players who actually want to plot and do interesting things. So many of the games I've tried to join just seem to want happy quirky tiems with their characters and most of the time I pick characters that just sort of... no. They're too intense, they want to hurt others, they don't socialize, they are rude. I even tried picking up a character once who wasn't quite as abrasive (though she was still a social retard, let's be honest) and I just got so bored trying to make nice. I want action and drama and life-altering shit, y'know? I can't do picnics and sex and parties on a regular basis. Like the Master, I kinda need meat.
It's gotten to the point that I really don't know what to do. I don't want to make a miserable time for anyone or make them get immediately on the defense, and I really hoped that this time around at least getting permissions out of the way right off the bat would help but I don't know. In my mind's eye I can see that fail comin' round the mountain when she comes and I just know it's only a matter of time before things go awry. As it is I already feel like my feeble attempts at CR have mostly gone nowhere, though I haven't even given the game a week. It's like I'm primed for failure now. I can't even muster up any optimism, and all I can do is try and know it's not enough.
I tried doing private rp, and it wasn't BAD but... I love panfandom. It's the way I was introduced to RP and I really ENJOY multicharacter plots and arcs, even if they inevitably seem to succumb to user error. Whether it be hiatus or miscommunication or some other dropping the ball.
But man, it's just really tough to feel like trouble already in your first week. And I do.
Maybe it was too soon to do this.
