but a damn fine one, if i do say so myself

[ans99]

so at our most recent session i mentioned to my therapist how i'm apparently a social retard, even if i abstractly "get" lots of things, including how people generally work-- i just miss these little cues, say the wrong things, don't anticipate the reactions i get, etc. don't relate to "the common man" or something. she thought that was tragic, since according to her i would probably get a 160 or higher if i ever took an iq test. she has this really... flattering impression of how smart and talented i'm supposed to be, which is nice but constantly makes me feel like a fraud.

the funny thing is that after all that, she's like "oh i know what book you'll like." and she goes to her shelf and hands me something by temple grandin about autism.

i don't know what to think about this. i just keep remembering the episode of house m.d. where he connected with the kid who had autism, and everyone thought maybe house was autistic. until one character (wilson) basically blurted out with "no, you're not autistic. you're just an ass."

sorry peoples, i can't hide behind autism. i'm just an ass.

Comments

[primimproper.livejournal.com]

I'm exactly the same. I have an awkward social anxiety that I hide behind because I hate having to be "on" all the time. So I'm a big ass and I dodge get togethers. I have a friend who is kind of on the boring side, and she likes throwing parties only if I come because I'm "the life of the party" (which is sad, because I'm not especially witty) and I just... can't do it. It's too stressful. I just want to eat the cheese cubes and leave.

[freyja.livejournal.com]

ah, yes, parties kinda suck don't they. the only time i've really felt ok at a party is when i've known and liked everyone there very much.

the first thing ken and i do upon arriving at one, actually, is to zoom over to the food and sometimes we tend to stand there for most of the night, eating. EPIC FAIL.