ans99: (drama)
So I haven't been making any real LJ entries in some time, and I'm not really planning on making any more real LJ entries, because I've determined that only one or two people even seem to notice I've said anything here. And this is not a complaint, merely a notice that only one or two people are even going to read anyway, but I think it's about time I closed this thing up.

And I hate saying this knowing how many years I've been here (since 2001!) and how things were very very different in the past, when I felt more of a connection to so many of you and you know, that I wasn't such a ghost here I guess. When I felt what I said was interesting and mattered. But I haven't felt that way in quite some time. I guess it's the trend of the internet, or maybe I wasn't very good at keeping up with any of you, or I don't even know. It's not even so much that I feel I haven't been interesting-- this year I've produced some of the most interesting stuff of my life. I have a band now, and an album, and I'm starting to put a business together to sell my drawings and photographs, and those things are HUGE to me. Maybe not to you.

I have other journals, mainly for RP and fic, so I'm not leaving LJ forever. And I do want to keep some people here on my list so that I can keep up with your lives because as far as I know you aren't anywhere else with any regularity. So I guess not much is even changing. But if you're hanging on to my name in your friends list there's really no reason to pretend anymore. I give up. If you still want me to read your entries keep me on, but I won't be making any more and I'll probably be dropping a fair amount off my own reading list, because it's been at the point I can't keep up for several years now. And I don't think it's fair keeping up with some of you when my comments and posts go ignored. *shrug*

I don't like leaving on such a bitter, nothing note, but I feel sort of bitter and nothing today so I suppose it fits.

In closing, just so at least this entry can't be ignored:

GOODBYE LIVEJOURNAL!

Heh. Nobody ever said I wasn't a complete child.
ans99: (drama)
I feel like I haven't updated in a while and I guess I have a lot to say, although none of it is really all that good past about a month ago. So, fair warning that there is a whinefest ahead.

In fact the only really good thing I can think of is that music has been somewhat progressing. Although not the speed I'd prefer. We did an open mic back at the end of March that was .... thrilling. Successful. Everything I wanted from it we got. We networked, we didn't screw up, people loved the song. I had really high hopes.

BUT THEN: The first time I tripped )

So after that I just gave up on the codeine. That's my funny illness story. What's not so funny about that illness is that it took me two weeks to feel halfway normal, and even then I just barely got my singing range back last week. So, no open mics for us since.

The second time I tripped (not as funny) )

Oh but the news gets much worse.

and the consequential fallout )

So now I guess I'm fired from my part-time art teaching job, which I loved, and I feel like this is thinly veiled discrimination. Not sure what to do next. Part of me just wants to say screw it because it's not nearly the only problem going on in my life right now, and everything is slowly spiralling down the drain and I'm almost ready to say seriously that I want off this ride.

I don't even have a therapist anymore guys. Not to mention that the roleplay game I was enjoying so much issued me a reprimand on my birthday because someone apparently has it out for me and made up some bogus complaints that don't even make sense. And now with those three safe havens gone I sort of feel like I have nowhere to go. Doesn't help that I've been going crazier than usual and really need these things much more than I might have at another time. I dunno. Feels like everything is abandoning me the instant I find happiness with it. Maybe the universe just doesn't want me to be happy.

Sorry for the moping, lj but I'm sure the three of you that might read through all this will forgive me :/
ans99: (khef)
[livejournal.com profile] notemily has got me thinking about figure skating again, something I hadn't been hooked on since I was in high school. I figure skated for about a year in high school but after I grew out of my skates I never picked it back up. I'm not really sure why; I just got distracted by other things I guess. It was a little different with dance class and gymnastics; I quit those on purpose. Some sort of thing I thought at the time was justified proto-feminist rebellion but was probably much more a product of my frustration and pride. You see, when I don't pick something up right away I do tend to drop it. I like things that I can do, and that come easily to me, so that I can feel accomplished. Many people probably feel the same, particularly if they have an issue with overly competitive behavior.

While dance class never really seemed difficult to me (the reason I quit it was that they wanted to hold me back a year and I'd thought I was doing better than that), gymnastics was painfully difficult. Keep in mind I was a 12-year-old going up against kids as young as 7. There was really no way I couldn't feel like a complete chump for not being flexible, strong, or even brave enough (backbends tend to terrify me because of the surrender to gravity, and HOMG the balance beam). I also just didn't like forcing my body to do things it was screaming at me I should cease immediately. It's one of the reasons I like yoga much better, actually; there is no sense of competition or forcing going on there, but just relaxing and doing what you're capable of doing in that moment-- and then maybe pushing a little more.

Now that I'm taking dancing again it seems much harder. In fact I don't know what I was on when I was younger, or if I was really even properly paying attention at all, because I surely do not remember learning all the shit I am learning now. Especially posture-- OH. The posture just kills me! There's this great 9 Chickweed Lane comic (yes, I read 9 Chickweed Lane, deal with it) where someone visiting the main character, a ballerina, has decided that she's going to quit grad school and become a dancer too because of the glamorous and graceful life she's sure her friend leads. After watching her friend practice to exhaustion, however, she changes her mind. "Your lives aren't glamorous," she sputters. "Your lives are the Iditarod." And it's true. Dance may look so effortless and carefree in the hands of a professional, but it is surprisingly restrictive, in posture alone, never mind many other factors (costume, long practices, the inevitable foot and pelvic injuries...). I didn't realize that until I started again, I suppose because I finally decided to actually try to learn it properly.

Anyway back to my main point. Every form of art seems effortless from the outside, if done right. And we look at it from the outside and all we see is the end product and how beautiful it is, and we think that is all there is. But there is the flip side of that-- the effort, the frustration, the worry, the struggle and indecision, and the pain that goes into making that art appear beautiful and effortless and inspiring. So it's really easy to say "I wish I could do that" but not many of us will end up doing that, precisely because we'll hit a wall at some point that we just won't want to make the sacrifices to climb. And we'll realize then that particular thing is not for us.

I happened to catch a couples skating routine tonight. One of the skaters was 15 year old girl. Her routine was, to my eyes, flawless. The two of them smiled at each other as if they were having the time of their lives but I could see the posture and the calculated precision now that I couldn't when I was 15. Figure skating and dancing are not so dissimilar. They were smiling and they were graceful but they were working their asses off to do it. And I know that I could never do that for a living. And I think today I was finally okay with it. I couldn't do it, but these people can. These people not only look like they are having the time of their lives, but despite the effort they actually are. Eventually if you're lucky you do find something like that, that is worth it to you.

Today I realized that music does that for me. I've loved music all my life; most of us do. It is rare I am able to get through a day without it. And I've always played music. I've been at the piano since I was 8 (my parents started lessons when I happened across one and just started tooling on it) and when I sit down and start I get sucked into a deep hole that sometimes doesn't spit me out for hours. I used to be so tied to regular playing, in fact, that when we went on vacation somewhere I'd have to find a mall with a piano store just so I could play one. I've been singing for even longer than that; my parents tell me I used to just constantly sing cheesy love songs as a 3 or 4 year old (it must have been young enough that I don't really remember it). I am practically incapable of stopping myself singing along to whatever happens to be playing now. But it never occurred to me that this is what I'd be striving towards as a life thing, you know? Even though I've been singing and playing and writing songs for a very long time I never put the pieces together until now. But I think this is my figure skating. This is the thing that takes hard work but is totally worth it, that I smile through because I am thoroughly enjoying it despite the discipline and attention and effort it requires. This is the thing I want to be doing, and Ken and I have both remarked to each other that when we go to shows now we get extremely jealous that we can't play. I just want to jump onstage and just take it over.

And maybe we will, LiveJournal. Maybe we will.
ans99: (geekout)
Hi Live Journal (Live Journal? Really? That's how the site wants to spell itself? I'd always thought, like probably 90% of users, that it's Livejournal or LiveJournal or even good old plain old LJ, but whatevs).

Lots of things have been going on for me, and thus there has been a fair amount of change. Some of the simpler ones:

1. No more Twitter feed straight to LJ (as you could probably tell by the subject line of this post)

Yes. Hopefully, unless I fucked it up, I unsubscribed from Twittinesis. Why'd I do that? Because I now have an LJ RSS feed for my Tumblog. How I got that will be explained a little later, as it's not quite as simple but it's so damn clever it makes my teeth hurt. And yes, I do say so myself.

So yeah. If you've ever been curious about Tumblr, or want to know the awesome things I look at all day when I should be working (they really are awesome and inspiring), but can't be bothered to cart your ass off to a different website, this feed is for you: [livejournal.com profile] ans99tumblr

2. No more all-lowercase funtime extravaganza (if I can help it, and as you also probably noticed if you pay attention to that sort of thing)

And why this? I dunno. I work at a job now, I suppose, where I need to converse in normal-speak, and I also rp a fair amount of time (I log into my rp journal faaaaar far more than I ever do this thing), where if i typed like this all the time people would probably throw me out and then i'd be sad and say fuck you lj. So that's sort of prompted a habitual switch from "no caps" to "sometimes caps". But also? It just really seems to annoy some people. Enough that I was beginning to get the feeling some of them would actually refuse to read what I read at all. Yes, this is capitulating to snobbery and to the status quo in some sense, but I think it's more important to make friends at this juncture than to stubbornly stand by some half-assed philosophy I basically made up when I was 18 and typing nonsense into Microsoft Word and realizing it was correcting all of my lowercase "i"s for me. Oh the nerve of that program.

3. In addition to my Tumblr feed, say hello to my new art blog feed.

[livejournal.com profile] hieratic_art is the RSS feed to hieratic, my new WordPress blog, which replaces my old B2evo blog that recently got shat upon by spammers. I won't be updating my Livejournal regularly with art, because I still don't find it highly reliable. Plus, I'd also like to keep my whining and my art at least a little separate. Just makes things less embarrassing.

4. I may actually start writing here again.

I'm pretty busy, so we'll see how it goes, but I have felt the urge now and again to jot down some thoughts that have seemed inappropriate for hieratic (so very unprofessional), Tumblr (too many shallow connections), Facebook (family members), or Twitter (too restrictive).

We'll see, LJ. We'll see.

Now you may be asking yourselves (probably not, but maybe one of you is asking yourself this-- I've got to have faith), "Why all the RSS feeds, Freyja? And HOW?"

Wherein I am clever for once? )

Well, that's my story. If any of you are still reading, kudos and hello!
ans99: (happy)
ken and i had a really strange night around sacramento saturday.

we were supposed to go see tuvok perform at rhythm n' ribs, because that was something that really intrigued me at the time, but when the time actually came to go i was ambivalent. ken mentioned there was also this folk-rock show going on at a place called "luigi's fun garden."

well, you know i couldn't pass that up, although i had never heard of any of the bands. and if you know anything about the sac music scene, this makes some degree of sense. every show we've been to the band members have looked strangely familiar, and ended up being from other bands that have since... disbanded. also, every show we've been to the artists have asked us "um, so how did you .... find this show?" we recently saw a chelsea wolfe show that was purposely under the radar because the venue wasn't technically kosher with the city (no permits or something). there's definitely a problem with information and marketing. it almost makes me want to stick around sac to see if i can help any.

yeah. almost.

but anyway that night renewed my faith in the sac music scene and made me realize there's more going on here than i thought-- it's just all "underground."

we went to tres hermanas, because i've been dying to go back after trying it for the first time with ken and mario back in the spring. it's a pretty good mexican restaurant, going beyond the taqueria fare you usually find in the central valley, and which i personally can't stand. we'd been looking for a good mex restaurant for years before stumbling upon this little place. it saddened me last night to think that really, in boston this calibre of place was a dime a dozen, but what can you do, really. the food here will never live up to boston standards, save perhaps sushi. sushi is much better here.

after filling up on food, we made our way to luigi's, a few blocks down. on the way we were stopped by two black guys who were apparently with a homeless organization loaves and fishes, an organization my sorry ass had never heard of (because obviously i don't care about the homeless). they had a very charming spiel, with lots of immediate bashing of homeless/black stereotypes, and making fun of ken being tall a lot, and calling me beautiful, and i gave them about half of what was in my wallet (about 4 bucks sadly).

at luigi's we discovered that the bands was actually playing at 9, not 8 as they'd said on their freakin' myspaces (see what i mean about information problems?). we had an hour to kill so we decided to walk around a bit. it wasn't long before we heard a voice that was ... sort of a cross between the guy from creed and the guy from staind (not exactly that much of a difference, but we honestly couldn't decide on which one he reminded us of). the music sounded much nicer than creed or staind though, and we decided to try and find where this guy was playing. the next song a chick sang, and she sounded a lot like melissa etheridge. it turns out it was next door neighbor, a local duo that does a lot of cover stuff but also original material. they don't appear to have an album yet. the link (facebook fan page if it doesn't work) has videos though, which give you some idea of their really awesome voices. i don't think i've heard a cover band that good in a long while. as ken said, they seemed to be playing through my mp3 list-- this may have been somewhat significant in my approval :)

we headed back to luigi's after an hour or so, passing by this nightclub that was continually just pumping out the most banal techno i have ever heard, and ran into some enormous drunk black guy with apparently no money, who insisted he didn't want money but just wanted food. unfortunately this was like... the worst part of town to ask for just food, because it was home of the 11-dollar appetizer and stuff. so we couldn't give him anything. i was kicking myself later when i realized luigi's serves pizza by the slice, but by the time i realized this he was gone.

we made it into the show just as ricky berger, a cute blonde girl with a ukelele, was wrapping up. she insisted that everyone just pay her what they could for her album, and that if they had to get it for free, so be it. she was really sweet. and she ended up leaving long before the night ended, the few CDs she hadn't sold abandoned on the table. we took one.

the next band was pretty damn awesome. they're called foxtails brigade and they reminded us a little of rasputina. very dark/fairytale stuff, with strings and classical guitar. as a bonus, there was a mysterious woman paying cello who looked familiar... it turned out to be JEN FUCKING GRADY FROM THE FUCKING WAXFIRE. we just about died. we got to talk to laura weinbach, the frontwoman for foxtails, after the show and it turns out jen plays with a lot of bands. perhaps she will play with ours once we get rolling?

after foxtails was two sheds, a band we'd heard about but never seen. the first impression ken had? "that guy looks like house." it was true. he was even dressed like house, with a blue cap, suit jacket, t-shirt, and sneakers. it was very bizarre. when i get pictures up someday you'll see what i'm talking about. two sheds reminded me of over the rhine, one of my favorite easy-going bands, and they had some really nice chemistry, which was sweet. i did spend a lot of time wondering if they got the name from the monty python sketch though.

the final act of the night was the stilts, a band put together by christopher fairman. first christopher came out to do his solo stuff, which reminded me a lot of damien rice. actually i suppose his band stuff was similar to rice as well. he also had a guitar that said "batman" on it (and the logo on his case). i really liked his music (and thought he was pretty hot). i wanted to buy one of his albums after the show but nobody was around to sell them so we just left (and again, marketing issues much sac music scene???).

on our way home from the show, we found out there is a dessert diner on k and 23rd. next time i get a craving for dessert in the night that is where i'm dragging ken.

so yeah. quite an unusual night in sac since there was no disappointment, but i won't complain :)
ans99: (flerpy derpy doo)
so i'm home sick today and my head keeps spinning. so of course i figure this is the perfect time to make an lj entry since i've just slept for 4.5 hours and can't really sleep anymore. can't believe it's been almost two months since i made a proper update that nobody wants to read. see sophie, next to that 5 weeks is nothin'!

only trouble is it's been so long i can't remember what i was up to... so maybe i will start with major obvious stuff and then proceed in reverse.

rats )

our vacations are so much work )

kitsune )

this weekend )

last weekend )

this is probably a long enough entry. time to take my temperature, because it's either really hot in here or i have a fever.

yes, i totally just asked if it was hot in here or if it was just me.

*intentional misspelling; long story
ans99: (Default)
it occurs to me, while lounging upside down on my futon, while there is a cat napping feet from my head, while several warm bodies identifiable easily enough by infrared inhabit my immediate shared space... that maybe i am too content to feel the oncoming advent of death, of forgetfulness and usefulness, and thus feel no drive to create beyond "oh yes, that would be nice to see manifest one day from my rampant imagination."

i have had several things to drink tonight, coerced ken into making me multiple batches of s'mores, and i'm watching something truly horrid on a&e. it's taking me about three times the amount of time to type this as i'm correcting mistakes i happen to catch with my analitude (which has only been honed by my job as a copy editor, but i'm sure i'm still missing tons, forgive me). but whether that's influencing my mood or not, it still stands that my life is pretty damn good right now. i don't have much to complain about. worst thing that's happened to me in a while that is actually concrete is betrayal from people i never fully trusted. worst thing that isn't concrete is the possibility i may have MS (fun!). the only reason i'm really telling the internets that i might possibly by any stretch of the imagination have MS? well, two reasons really: first, i told my coworker, and i'm sure there is some sort of law, named or unnamed, that states that once you tell a coworker anything you've basically told the world. srsly, thus it is written.

second: i'm pretty sure that the odds are all of us have the spare potential to harbor MS, so is it really that big of a reveal anyway that i may possibly have it.

and i'm sure i don't. god. if you had heard me on the piano last night you never would have believed i have recurrent tingling and numbness and loss of coordination in my left hand. it never would have even crossed your mind, because during the few hours i actually practiced piano i was possessed by the ghost of something far greater than i. and my hand was pretty okay, really. what is really going on is hard to tell. i definitely have PROBLEMS, but i don't think MS comes and goes. i have physical therapy monday. i hope it will help the situation.

what i want most of all right now is to create a) a graphic novel and b) a film / tv series.

i saw harry potter 6 today and pretty much agreed with [livejournal.com profile] notemily-- everything was PREETTTY good except for a few niggling parts. like The Scene where... you know... happens. all wrong. but there were some moments in there i honestly thought must have been translated from my own brain, they were so close to what i'd expected and hoped for.

(oh shit, i figured out what the crappy thing is on a&e, by the way; it's the sopranos.

this is pretty hilarious, actually.)

anyway. we're starting to try to integrate the rats into one cage, but wilson hurt himself tonight by mysteriously losing his balance and losing a nail while trying to regain it, and i barely caught him in time before he hit the floor. he's been... semi-aggressive with the youngster newcomers, but i honestly think they are being ultra-histrionic on top of it all, so i'm not really sure what is going on. i think maybe they're just too young and inexperienced to realize that this is a normal part of rat life. hopefully they will come around.

(what the hell is wrong with this show. a kid is trying to relate DNR to DNA. is this show supposed to be funny"??///)

ugh. i really want to create and stuff. it's just so hard when i'm so happy. being happy is often joked as being the antithesis to creating, but i think for most people it's true. there is just no impetus for doing anything other than existing and just drinking in the win. ugh.

oh, i'm really considering roleplay again. i will nvr tell you where. NVR
ans99: (happy)
currently i am giving my cat a forced handshake and trying really hard to remember what i've been doing for the past whatever.

oof, she just hurtled over me. i'm pretty sure from the way she gave me a Significant Look afterwards it was punishment.

anyway, we got another camcorder about 1.5 weeks ago. it's a panasonic gs400, which is basically the only camera under $1000 that i ever wanted. it has that green line the last one did, so we're just assuming they're all like that and most prosumers have just been too dumb to notice. we can just crop a few pixels off the side if we don't shoot in widescreen, because other than that it's an awesome camera for the price ($700 used, i think, including tax, etc.).

fourth of july weekend didn't go exactly as planned, but it wasn't that bad. i had just convinced alan we really really should just go to bodie and art out for the fourth, when a couple of quick calls to campgrounds in the area revealed that apparently EVERYONE had the idea to go to mono lake and yosemite that weekend, so even if we found a campsite we would have been miserable, and there were absolutely no guarantees. even the "first come first served" sites were full by thursday afternoon. i guess everyone else was much more firmly ensconced in their plans than we were; we bailed and decided to take a day trip out to point reyes instead the friday before. although the campsites there looked absolutely fanfuckingtastic, and we'll have to go back on a less crowded weekend and stay overnight.

point reyes was pretty beautiful, and although it really seemed to emo alan out, i felt at peace there, and it was a not really "despite" the fog thing so much as "especially with". we saw our share of dead things and live things and soon to be dead (probably) things, including:

-tule deer, first through a telescope and then right outside our car window
-bird trapped in a historic farmhouse, bashing its head against the window and completely ignoring the crack in the door. we laid down some tortillas for it in the hopes it'd find them and eat its way out but i would not be surprised in the slightest if it died. of course alan and i completely capitalized on its pain and took loads of pictures, because we are the paparazzi for suffering animals. ken took the high road and refused to film such things with the camcorder for very long.
-beached seal, that we were warned to stay away from but we guessed nobody would ever come rescue (alan's quote of the day: "that's cold comfort to a dead seal. i want to pet it!")
-dead seabird of some sort on the beach, and lots more in the sky

it was a pretty fun time, the three of us road tripping it and listening to mostly my music, and a smidge of alan's horrible music. it was cool to take the video camera too; ken used it the most, and every scene subsequently ends with an extreme zoom or the camera doing a 180-degree roll. i guess that's ken's signature filming style :)

after hiking on tomales point (no tamales to be found, unfortunately) we drove around the point a little before heading to find something to eat. ended up at this standard-looking restaurant with above-average food, almost seasons-like. i had a buttered rum that was pretty fantastic, but got stiffed on a veggie burger even though our table neighbors were able to order one. etc etc.

((kitsune cute-report: she's twitching her nose and paws now, deep in dreamland next to me on the futon :D this cat likes to lay out all floppy paws; i guess she hasn't quite grown into her body yet. it saddens me that she's probably dreaming about eating our other pets :/))

i took something like 3 GB of pictures, and i want to start uploading them soon but i've run across another problem-- i am out of space on my c drive. so basically i need another hard drive to backup my pictures before i feel comfortable working with them. and the only way i can have three hard drives is if i upgrade my case to one my parents gave me. all this involves work and time we really haven't been able to afford yet, so no pictures for a while :(

the rest of the weekend we did errands mostly. we decided cat condos are way too expensive these days so we're building our own. lowe's is a damn frustrating place in that it sells 4 x 4s too long to fit in our car but do not have the ability to CUT DOWN 4 x 4s. i find that pathetic. it's funny how some hardware stores are good for some items but lousy for others.

i'm also planning on knitting kits a collar (will be velcro for breakaway purposes), a cat toy and a pet bed.

hooping is going okay. i can vortex now, and also shimmy up to and hoop at the chest. sometimes i can hoop at the knees for a couple of rotations. i'm working on vertical hooping. i really need to practice more often, and learn some new moves, since i've started tentatively working on a routine to "time is running out" by muse.

july 4th itself we spent playing rock band with mario, and succeeded again in completely missing the fireworks. i think it's the second year in a row we've done that.

our rats got names (bruce and harvey) and lost their balls this week, and we've started introducing them to wilson. the going is slow; last night was the first time and basically wilson puffed up so much he looked like he was going into anaphylactic shock, then aggressively groomed harvey. at that point we were afraid he'd actually BITTEN harvey so we took the babies out.

after reading up a bit more and wising up on some issues today, i stuck their cages next to each other and switched them for a while. wilson spent the whole time ransacking their cage like someone sneaking into the enemy's office and searching for Hard Evidence in a conspiracy movie, while bruce and harvey pulled a goldilocks and hung out in wilson's bed. wilson then proceeded to one-up THAT by eating their food. i'm not sure who was more passive aggressive.

this weekend was pretty uneventful. we tried fuzio's new location and had a great dinner, and then crashed early friday night. saturday was 7/11 so we got a free slurpee with mario, then played some rock band. we're going to enter pepsi's rock band video contest, so we "rehearsed" our song a little, made avatars that actually looked somewhat like us, and talked about the video and how/when/what we were going to film. i think next weekend we're going to either film down in stockton or kidnap mario for the day and bring him back up here; either way it should be an adventure.

sunday i got the best jeans and skirts ever and then pretended to do art.

today i had an animation class at the cc, taught by the very inspiring and extremely awesome kevin okulolo of leafworthy.com. i already have an awesome idea for an animated series/film. can't wait to get started on it!

actually lately i've been bursting with ideas, so many and so fast i find i don't have time to write them down. i don't know if it's this [livejournal.com profile] 2xcreative thing i'm participating in, or just thinking about my future more and more, or finally finding a balance between work and life, or not getting enough life in so my mind's been wandering. or you know, maybe i angered the dream king. either way it's pretty cool, because i never really had many ideas (that i actually liked or thought were any good). most of them came from ken or others much more witty than i, and i always saw it as my biggest failing and the most frustrating roadblock in my art. now they're finally starting to come. :)

work, by the way, is going aight. i'm being randomly social enough i hope to not earn anyone's ire, and they seem to really appreciate my work. it's a little weird having to use a WYSIWYG, but fortunately when it acts up i can fall back on my CSS/HTML hardcoding knowledge (one of the few things i'm truly grateful to henk for, actually). and i'm starting to see the convenience of WYSIWYG, although i really think ultimately depending solely on one and never learning how to code is extremely detrimental to website maintenance and design.

eh, could be worse. we use PCs ;P

tonight we tried round 2 of rat thunderdome. unfortunately the babies remembered wilson's "King Rat RAWRRAWR" routine from last time and guess what? we learned tonight that they are capable of leaping out of the tub! we kept them in there as much as we could though, and wilson got a lot of his dominance displays in. including nosing their abdomens, sniffing around them carefully as if they were military recruits up for inspection, and sidling his butt to their butts to scent mark them. of course through all this the babies squeaked vociferously and jumped out of the tub at every opportunity presented. eventually though they learned there was one stance that did not offend King Rat, and that was staying in a sort of bent over half-standing position on their hind legs, their front legs in front of them, and freezing like the tanuki statue in super mario 3.

i found the whole thing much more amusing than i probably should. rats are so ridiculous.

afterwards they all got chickpeas.

i'll have to steal a sentiment from kyle cassidy here-- i love my life right now.

ah. i also quit my diet. i suck.
ans99: (medikul mystereez)
i had a pretty eventful weekend. on friday night we picked up the rats, and i was saved from making a fool of myself trying not to make a fool of myself in front of joe dinunzio, because he was busy with the twins and the dog. the rat babies are really cute, but VERY skittish. even more so than dot and dash were. we've been feeding them melon and chickpea and pepper and all the good things in life and taking them out periodically to climb mt. kenandapril, and they've been slowly getting used to life without their siblings or mom. when they calm down a bit more i'll grab some pictures of them.

saturday we ran around getting supplies for various things, and then helped out filming the nexus stage show that runs at DMA most saturday nights (note: link is to the simultaneous radiocast-- the show is presented live on my city's local cable channel). we had a blast, as did the producer-- he was able to utilize four different camera angles because of the extra volunteers who showed up :) the band, way2nazd, was pretty cool and as ken put it, "tight". the manager took some time to talk with us afterwards about music, and encouraged us to contact her if we ever get our band going. also, the band was very kind to us newbie camerapeople, and i think they were somewhat impressed by our work, even if half the time i cut off people's heads, got my fair share of "extreem closeup stomach shots," and we both tended to film the wrong musician during a solo. pretty effective networking ;)

after that alan came over and we looked at some of my pictures together with a discerning eye, squabbled over some of them goodnaturedly, laughed at my ass-poor composition on a few pictures, laughed some more at mildly inbred sea lions, and ordered pizza and drank wine.

sunday we helped james film some doctor who fanfilm material. i got to swordfight mario, dress up as monsters and chase alan down the hall. ken got to dress up as a pharaoh. james even let me work camera. i guess we'll see how crappy my shots look... after that we went to wendy's and got the most braindead server ever, and after that ken and i bought mario birthday cupcakes.

today i got filings from the dentist, but that's not very exciting or accomplished-- just aggravating and painful. the dentist was the best i've ever had though; kinda like a grandfatherly dr. house. unless that is an oxymoron, i'm not sure.
ans99: (khef)
the search for a companion

yesterday we went to the sac spca shelter looking for rats and cats-- a rat as a companion for wilson and a cat because we both agree it's just time. finally. unfortunately we got there a half hour before closing and there was not enough time to drink in the cats and their personalities. also, they don't want to adopt out singleton rats, which makes sense but our wilsy could sure use someone. so we said we'd think about adopting a pair. it makes the most sense, because then when wilson dies we'll hopefully still have the two who'll have each other, and nobody will be alone. i guess i'm just worried about wilson getting ganged up on by the other two or something. and two rats having to be returned if things don't work out, as opposed to one. i know how to introduce them after being counseled a little, and really hope that they all just get along when we do this. i feel bad for waiting for more than two months to get this shit started. wilson seems to have bounced back and doesn't act depressed, which kinda enabled our procrastination-- but i can't be there for him all day anymore with my fulltime job, and i don't think interaction with me can really take the place of another rat who shares his space anyway, as rewarding as it seems to be for both of us.

music

today i got up early and actually practiced piano, which was an amazing feeling. i really need to do more of that. among my various twiddlings was figuring out optimal fingering for "chain reaction", original renditions of damien rice's "rootless tree" and amanda palmer's "have to drive", and slogging through this finger exercise book i got when i was 10 and have recently cracked open again to get up my finger strength and agility. i suppose it's not entirely amazing i lost much of my groove from my lapse in practicing, but it's similarly amazing how quickly it can come back if you've had enough training consistently through formative years. so i think if i just practice more i can improve and maybe get back to where i was when i was 14 and whizzing through "cristofori's dream."

at any rate, i'd at least like to be able to play the parts i *write* :/

free food and photo geeking

after that we jetted with aj to a free pasta buffet and wine tasting in shenandoah valley, which seems to be more like napa before napa was napa. it's beautiful out there, and the winery holding the buffet has some of the best wines i've ever tasted. wasn't a huge fan of their zins though, which is strange.

people have been asking me about why the buffet is free, how we heard about it, etc. ken's parents signed us up for the winery's club-- which, after tasting their wines, i have absolutely no problem with. one of the perks besides free tastings and discounts on bottles and cases is that they occasionally give their members free meals. the winery (toscana?) is super neat, and it even had keg tastings while we were there. keg tastings are apparently sneak previews of wines to come, so several of them weren't "done" yet, but to be honest they were pretty awesome already. we bought some port and a viognier.

on the way home i made ken stop a couple of times so i could take pictures. it's a lot of beautiful farmland up there. i am sure i looked like a total geek jogging down the road from the car to get a shot but i'm starting to care less and less as i age and become progressively less attractive anyway. fuck 'em, i like taking photos.

i'm not sure what the funniest part of the day was exactly-- whether it was pie in a jar, the kinda overly threatening "we can get to the fence in three seconds" beware of dog sign, aj's reaction to the chorus of "rootless tree" (a literal "WTF"), the people parked on the side of the road that we soon realized were there to couple-fight in the car rather than enjoy the scenery alongside us... so many moments. i love my friends.

polyethylene at last

after we dropped aj off at kdvs (and i had finished chasing squirrels with the camera) we went to lowe's to pick up *****!!!!!!Hooping Materials!!!!******-- i don't think i can express my excitement on that enough-- both finding the materials and the thought of getting started, yey! i was telling ken that i think this is the first thing i've been this obsessed about in a long while. since film editing maybe?

then we went out for a short run/crossfit workout. my arm is almost 100% but very obviously not, so i've been taking it easy with pullups and pushups, but i'm thinking of starting weights up again soon.


i've been playing with the gorillapod mike gave me, finally, and it is AMAZING. tonight i saw the moon and had to try it out, so there i was lying in the grass aiming the thing as people walked by staring at me from the sidewalk. it came out beautifully though, not a jiggle or a jostle. i love this thing.

i guess am a teacher (and you can too)?

thurs is my last drawing class of the quarter. i'm consistently amazed at the attrition rate of these things, especially this quarter where i've felt spread so thin that i haven't had time to do much more than read the notes i made last quarter when i rehauled the course syllabus a little. but then that syllabus was a labor of love, so maybe it's just... good the way it is? maybe it's good that i don't get a chance to think before i teach so that i can avoid getting stressed out? god, last quarter i remember the first class i taught while in the throes of a panic attack; that was something to experience for sure, although obviously not something i'd ever recommend.

one of ken's and my little rituals takes place after drawing class, when we go to burgers & brew for dinner. this pretty much started because it is the only decent thing open past ten on a thursday night, but i've really started to look forward to it. still, i'll be kind of glad to have my thursday nights open again until next quarter. i've been teaching at the cc but i haven't actually DONE anything in there yet, and that's kind of sad. i think there's only two weeks left; who's going to make that gary oldman shirt if not me???

"come to the faire!"

we're going to the maker's fair this weekend. i've never been, but it looks exciting, and also i'll see sara and karl and that'll be nice :)

when did my life get so busy? oh well; i guess i like it that way. doesn't give me time to get too miserable. someone once told me that one of the reasons i got so depressed might have something to do with boredom, and i'd believe it. it's so easy to forget about all the bad things in life when you're rushing around, but if you have too much downtime suddenly everything's all emo-town for some reason.

keep yourselves busy, folks, even if it's just staring at the moon or laughing at with your friends.
ans99: (geekout)
we bought a new camcorder today to replace our dead optura 50!

well, technically it's used off ebay, so hopefully it will show up with all its parts attached. it's a panasonic gs-400, one of the better prosumer camcorders out there for our price range. it was actually kind of funny (and depressing)-- the original buy it now! price was 900 dollars, but we made a counterbid of 800 dollars, which was automatically accepted. so i guess that means that we could have probably gone lower... argh. everything is so expensive in the tech world, even used tech.

yeah, so expect to have a sorta kickass camcorder shoved in your face next time we meet.

in other news, we had two movie nights with friends in a row. last night we watched tokyo zombie and repo! the genetic opera with mario. leave it to mario to pick the weirdest titles (although i'm not blaming him for repo!, since that was technically my idea). i'm not sure which movie was odder, to be honest, although i will say that anthony stewart head (now and forever known as "tony head" for some reason on whedonesque) was the hottest thing ever in that movie, and his harmonizations with sarah brightman made me glad to be alive. thank you, darren whateveryourlastnamewas, director of saw 3 and 4, for making that special moment happen.

he also bought us ice cream as a belated birthday thing. that is, mario did, not darren wossisname.

tonight we watched happy-go-lucky with anna and anthony, and i was pretty similarly perplexed. i think we all were, honestly? the movie didn't seem to have a plot, and the main character was pretty much a carbon copy of pre-doctor donna noble except her job actually helped people. anna was annoyed with her within about five seconds flat it seemed. but we stuck with it, and we were rewarded with... meh, a non-ending for all intents and purposes. it was still entertaining and i liked the characters quite a bit.

after that we hung around a little while longer and ended up snarking and making up dialogue for a few dollars more, which is just... why did nobody tell me clint eastwood used to be that hot???

also, earlier today we stopped by central park (not the one in nyc, confused non-local readers) for some sort of hula hooping party that was going on. just tons of homemade hoops all over the green, and hippies (who owned the hoops, i'd suppose) wandering around showing people tricks. i've almost learned how to guide the hoop up above my head and back down, and how to shoulder hoop just by watching others get instructed. tomorrow we might go to ace and get the materials to build our own. i am far too excited about this, i know, but hoop dancing just looks so cool. for reference:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juBHmLVYwD0 (lol, the first thing mario said to this was "she should get better taste in music" but i think he was mainly just jealous)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQRkWvMa_Zg (the girl i would marry in a heartbeat)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdm3LJxLxTM (hokay, that's some contortion work too, but still)

tomorrow ken and i are also going to the sspca, and who knows what we'll return with..... ?

finally, still taking feedback on my fauxpro website with drawings and photos mentioned in my previous post... http://ansate.moosheep.org/hieroglyphs/

things i'd particularly love feedback on:
-the directory name (i have been agonizing over this*)
-the functionality (can you find everything ok?)
-the art (do you think it's salable? is it ok to put up sketches of other people's photographs these days? and should the collection that's already up be refined more? i'm looking at you for this one alan)
-the bio (do you think it's too long and whiny?)

*you don't know how tempted i was to call the directory "buysomethinwillya"

woot!

May. 19th, 2009 12:58 pm
ans99: (happy)
yoinked from [livejournal.com profile] frozenrhino;

street photography in nyc is now Officially ok

in other news, i'm doing well. we saw slumdog millionaire over the weekend. i liked it, but still can't believe the oscar people did.

looking at new camcorders to replace the old, and by hook or by crook this time we're going to get something on the level of the panasonic gs-400. i cannot wait to get my hands on one again. i guess next month will have to be vlogaday or shortaweek or whatever. rrr.

this weekend i helped davis media access film a conference on-campus-- it was so much fun, even just standing there behind a mess of tripods and occasionally zooming in/out or panning. when i got to be on the closeup camera, it was a lot more fun (and a lot more work, because when people stand up and lecture to a hall they tend to nervously walk/shift around a bit).

my arm is healing nicely, which is a relief. now i can get back to working on [livejournal.com profile] eyeteeth's picture.

in general, learning more about me and the world and the reactions i have to it and it to me. learning what keeps me happy and what needs to be let go. realizing the good things i already have and how lucky that makes me. in general, despite the depression, pretty content. it's weird.

and i've almost got my "professional" photo/sketch website finished. just putting the finishing touches on today probably and then it goes live. yay!

i know there's stuff i'm leaving out, but it's probably not that important, or if it is i'll have to remember to talk about it later.

mix: LMTFA

May. 18th, 2009 01:42 am
ans99: (drama)
nine inch nails- echoplex
i'm safe in here, irrelevant
just like they said
my voice just echoes off these walls

and i just slowly fade away

you will never ever get to me in here

amanda palmer- creep
you're so fucking special.
i wish i was special.
but i'm a creep. i'm a weirdo. what the hell am i doing here?
i don't belong here.

amanda palmer- straight (with strings)
and I'm waiting for someone to shake me and say

hey bitch, don't quit
you're almost dead
don't give up now
make friends instead

kat flint- shadowboxing
Are we dancing or kicking at one another's heels?
Am I leading or reading you wrong?
The gloves are off and my nails are bitten down to the quick
I'm knocked out, my dear
And it's making me sick

tori amos- little amsterdam
but momma-- it wasn't my bullet

don't take me back to the range
i'm just coming out of a cell in my brain
girl, you got to know these days
which side you're on

aimee mann- i cannot get my head around it
I cannot get my head around it, baby
'Cause that's just not the way
You make me feel

leonard cohen- avalanche
When I am on a pedestal,
You did not raise me there.
Your laws do not compel me
To kneel grotesque and bare.
I myself am the pedestal
For this ugly hump at which you stare.

the dresden dolls- dirty business
to all the ones who hated me the most, a toast-
you really had me going for a second,
i was nervous
boy, am i the poster girl
for some suburban sickness!
better keep a healthy distance
now it's up to you, know what to do
it's pretty dirty business

gwen stefani- hollaback girl
let me hear you say this shit is bananas.

nine inch nails- piggy
hey pig, nothing's turning out the way i planned

nothing can stop me now, cause i don't care anymore.

damien rice- rootless tree
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all we've been through
I said leave it, leave it, leave it
There's nothing in you
And did you hate me, hate me, hate me, hate me so good
That you just let me out, let me out, let me out
Of this hell when you're around

bjork- declare independence
declare independence!
don't let them do that to you!

the arctic monkeys- perhaps vampires is a bit strong but...
cause all you people are vampires,
and all your stories are stale.

george michael- freedom '90
But today the way I play the game has got to change
Oh yeah
Now I'm gonna get myself happy

I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I stopped the show
There's something deep inside of me
There's someone I forgot to be
Take back your picture in a frame
Don't think that I'll be back again
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man

cake- sheep go to heaven
as soon as you're born you start dying, so you might as well have a good time.
sheep go to heaven. goats go to hell.

go to hell.
ans99: (medikul mystereez)
this weekend our camcorder broke again, and seems completely unfixable. unfortunately it broke during this month, which was supposed to be short-a-week. so that's disappointing, but at least it means we will be getting a newer, better camcorder that does not blow fuses while rewinding tapes (????)

then i kind of broke myself by trying a simple goddamn side vault over a bike rack, getting tripped up, and landing very hard on my left side on concrete. that was sunday, and i'm still in pain-- mostly from my left shoulder to my elbow. it feels like a muscle strain plus something else, and i'm worried there's some tendon pulling or something going on. hopefully no fractures anywhere, but it's a pretty chronic pain and there's not much i can do with the arm. so today i'm off from work because yesterday was Miserable Hell Day and i felt like i wanted to die every time i moved.

on saturday aj brought over tombstone, which i'd never seen. that is a pretty amazingly funny movie. first off, the mustaches are incredible and huge. kurt russell with a mustache will be my lj icon, if i can find some stills from this one particular scene. what i love most about big mustaches is that they end up being an exaggerated mirror of facial expressions, and there is this one part where kurt russell's character was lying down sad, and his mustache was this incredible droop, like a clown's sad face. epic.

john locke was also in this movie, and a yong billy bob thornton and the guy from terminator (easily the hottest bad guy). and val kilmer, whom i'm sort of predisposed to hate after the batman fiasco, but honestly this role (doc holliday) he managed to shine in. throughout the movie the character is dying from tuberculosis, but still manages to spout this hilarious snarky even toned dialogue. when he first came on i had no idea who he was and thought he was the villain, he was so chill. but no, just an incredibly badass good guy. thoroughly entertaining movie.

then we watched some of suzanne vega's videos from the 80's, with her commentary, which is really the only way to watch them because for a few of them you can tell she is so incredibly disappointed in how they turned out. and she'll comment derisively on the clothes and hair, and it's just really cute. makes me wish i'd kept my gloria estefan video collection :(

this weekend ken's parents visited. things seemed to go smoothly enough, and we ate at some pretty fantastic restaurants-- seasons, and that boat hotel in old sac. if i hadn't been in so much pain i would have enjoyed it more. it meant we missed house's season finale though, so avoiding the hotbed of apathetic spoilers until we do see it should be interesting.

the day i got injured, like right after, i rested while going on this used laptop ken refurbished for me (because he is awesome) and ran across [livejournal.com profile] exquisitegeek's post about hula hooping. i hadn't realized what some people are doing with this, and it made me sad i was injured because i wanted to run right out then and buy a hula hoop. perhaps once i heal up.

oh, finally, i have had a twitter since the england trip last fall, but i'm actually starting to spend more time on it. i find it fascinating that a social networking site can turn even vaunted celebrities into ... well... us. and i don't mean "regular joes" like mario suggested-- i mean for all intents and purposes, giggly 20-somethings. i find it adorable. even trent reznor is on there, being all cute with rob sheridan and giving away free tickets to his concerts. brent spiner tells (extremely) short stories. stephen fry posts little audio challenges (guess who this is, guess what these people are saying, etc). neil gaiman and warren ellis just snark. dichen lachman twits while drunk. etc etc etc. although in a way it's a little dismaying, because they generally only interact with each other, it's nice to see them being able to keep up with their colleagues for once, and at the same time generally be able to keep their fans abreast of their doings and thoughts. it must be a really nice time for them, now this tool is available.

but anyway, yeah, i'm ans99 on twitter. add me if you're there!
ans99: (happy)
yesterday was my birthday, so i had a joint celebration with ken (whose bday was earlier in the month). we went wine tasting in sonoma valley with a few lucky people who could happen to make it. it was a pretty epic time-- i had a mushroom burger with mushrooms, we visited ravenswood and got a bunch of free swag (including a button in french that roughly translated to "no wet chicken wine"-- "wet chicken" is apparently an idiom for "wimpy" in french!), ken made us look even more like tourists with his (sometimes mischievously misleading) tom-tom, several of us trespassed on a piece of machinery, aj and james saw a hummingbird fight, i sang depeche mode's "enjoy the silence" for a cheesemonger, james and i molested marilyn monroe, gretchen got told she looked like she was 12, we bought some truffles, alan almost got raped by some casual wine guys, everyone posed for pictures with odd statues (including a dogdragon, a t-rex and a bronzed redwood tree root), and we tried many, many wines-- among them a zinfandel port that was hands-down honestly the best wine i ever tasted (much like the woman in keswick who had the best chips ever, the guy at the counter did not believe me. i might have looked very drunk at this point, but still, have a little pride and faith in your product yo). i also took many many pictures with the nifty new lens ken got me (a canon 18-55 mm with image stabilization). it garners more light, takes less blurry pictures in the dark, and has a wider angle of view-- all wins for indoor photography, which is the bane of my existence normally).

after all that, we went to kathmandu for dinner where even more people showed up, and i clumsily introduced everyone to each other, and we had a nice meal. then back to our house for the best birthday cake in the world (a two-layer ice cream cake from cold stone, with a koala-guinea pig hybrid drawn on top-- the thing weighed at least 15 pounds). i finally met alan's girlfriend, and anna gave me yarn, and mike gave me a gorilla pod for my camera. james gave me the dianetics book on tape (?) and some sort of sheep knitting needle holders (guess which one i appreciated more, lol). :) sara and karl came up too, yay! and everyone met wilson (karl was constantly being tickled by the little guy walking all over him, and in one case the poor thing made it down the back of his shirt! karl just has bad luck with animals i guess). toward the end of the evening, our party of course degenerated into watching youtube videos, mostly the doctor who fanvids we'd done with james. ken made the apt point that they're sort of like our version of slides-- y'know, the kind that people used pull out when they had unwitting guests.

i had a wonderful day yesterday. my philosophy has long been that there is no point to doing anything if there is not a touch of the absurd involved. thanks for helping me fulfill that, guys, by making the day as unique and fun as possible :)
ans99: (happy)
nothing really to report-- just wanted to show off my new icon.

had a pretty good weekend-- watched saw 3 and 4 with mario while aj looked the other way, and tonight watched the golden compass with aj while wilson gnawed on a hitler bagel (i filmed him).

vis a vis golden compass, i'm very disappointed at a) the lack of sufficient daniel craig bum and b) the intercision of the gut-punch ending that ended up being the best thing about the damn book. saw 3 and 4 were better than i remember, though. we made mario stay for what turned out to be a 30-minute filmmaking diary in the special features of saw 4, and it just made me that much more sure that i want to go into film. it was incredible. those transition shots that look fake? they were filmed in realtime, on the fly. if you don't understand how cool that is then i guess you don't share my love of filmmaking?

also, i need to learn to go to bed on time.

news

Mar. 27th, 2009 12:25 am
ans99: (work)
if i were married to sally forth i think i'd kill myself.

oh also, and as many of you know already because you cared enough to find and stalk me on facebook: i'm no longer unemployed.

it's full time, and that sort of laidback sedentary srs business type of job, so it means i'll be able to bring back my blah blah blah cake icon.

in fact....

there.
ans99: (Default)
and of course i forgot the main two reasons i was posting yesterday about my weekend. namely:

1) saturday was 3/14, so we enjoyed pie on Pi Day LOL math is for losers

2) while waiting for james to set up the camera in the cold parking garage on saturday, ken and i showed off by practicing a little impromptu low-level parkour, and i banged my shin on a vault. of course it still hasn't healed. there's a terrific bump and bruise. my first parkour injury!
ans99: (flerpy derpy doo)
nobody finds my icon funny, and i find this sad. because i think it's hilarious. however, i am quite used to this paradoxical situation, let me assure you.

my last few weeks were mostly spent working on a robotmedia movie for the showcase this sunday. i'm currently working on getting it up to youtube, but it's 12 minutes and youtube only allows movies up to 10 minutes in length. so i have to split it, and compress two separate files, and it's just an abnormal length of time to have to spend to get something on youtube, for god's sake. when it's up i'll post it in [livejournal.com profile] digitalis2. which is another reason to add it to your feed. you really don't want to miss this movie. it actually got... *gasp* a compliment at the showcase. from some guy who said he liked the "character development." no idea what he was talking about, but if you like shaving cream, and keys, and keys covered in shaving cream, and people trying to pick up keys covered in shaving cream, you should definitely watch this movie.

now if that's not a plug then what is?

other than getting the movie ready, watching the movie, and getting a compliment on the movie, we also helped james film something for some pbs doctor who contest. it was pretty fun, if freezing, and afterwards he even bought us pie.

before the showcase on sunday, ken and i went skiing and i determined that sierra at tahoe must be where all the assholes go, because half the people there had some sort of serious attitude problem and were whizzing by not only us, but children crawling in the snow, and not just on the slopes proper, but in the areas between lifts and lodge buildings and such. i saw this one incredible prick of a snowboarder who NEARLY ran into some skier minding his own damn business, looked affronted, got ahead of the skier, made a hockey-type stop almost directly in front of him, kicking up some snow, and once the skier meekly passed, giving him the DOUBLE flip-off. that was some prize piece of work, i have to say. other snowboarders were camped under the ski lifts, throwing snowballs up at people. i gave up after two runs and camped out in this horrible outdoor "tiki room," trying to ignore the bad reggae and watching everyone else try to have a decent time. it started snowing at one point, and that was kind of nice.

after skiing i made ken take me to a restaurant on the way back, because it's secretly my favorite part of trips like this-- sampling the bizarre hole-in-the-wall local cuisine of the forest people. we ended up at some german place, seated next to a photo of some town in austria from the 80's. it had the most horrible composition i'd ever seen, including a lamppost smack in the middle of the scene, as if it were some sort of popup guide in microsoft word ready to take you on a tour through the nicest parts of hell. the food was good, if hearty. god the german potatoes. and their zinfandel was fucking awesome.

halfway through the meal i started trying to figure out what song a snippet of nine inch nails lyric was from, and then also the first line of "mr. self destruct." i drunk-dialed mario, and on the third ring he picked up, but he didn't know the answer to the first question. i even had him google it to no avail.

let me open it to you guys: if i called up going "ok what nine inch nails song is this: 'i've tried everything.... i've tried everything'?" would you know? should i make a voice post and open it up as a contest? i've since figured it out of course.

anyhow, by the time we left i was toasted enough to show up still buzzed at the showcase 1.5 hours later, and buzzed enough at that point to enjoy myself by snarking at everyone else's movie and then laughing hysterically at my own. oh well, luckily showmanship isn't a large part of being an artist because otherwise i'd have to just give up now and go live in a cardboard box.

so the two topics for next showcase are "telemetry" and "mistakes." the only thing i can think of is a fan film of that part in dark tower vii where that rat thing named finli (or something) keeps saying, "telemetry doesn't lie." i think that'd rock.

either that or a spy movie.

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